{"id":787,"date":"2025-06-24T15:13:41","date_gmt":"2025-06-24T15:13:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/inregion.cz\/?p=787"},"modified":"2025-06-24T15:25:00","modified_gmt":"2025-06-24T15:25:00","slug":"zasady-spravneho-luftaka","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inregion.cz\/mystaging01\/2025\/06\/24\/zasady-spravneho-luftaka\/","title":{"rendered":"Z\u00e1sady spr\u00e1vn\u00e9ho “luf\u0165\u00e1ka”"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Jsem nad\u0161en\u00fdm chata\u0159em, \u010di chalup\u00e1\u0159em. Ka\u017ed\u00fd voln\u00fd v\u00edkend vyr\u00e1\u017e\u00edm, sotva v pr\u00e1ci skon\u010d\u00edm, pry\u010d ze \u0161\u00edlen\u00e9ho tempa\u00a0m\u011bsta. Kdo by ten pracovn\u00ed stres tak\u00e9 vydr\u017eel, \u017ee? Samoz\u0159ejm\u011b, m\u00e1m sv\u00e9 z\u00e1sady. Zkr\u00e1tka m\u00e1 chalupa, m\u016fj hrad. P\u0159es to vlak nejede. Bl\u00ed\u017e\u00ed se v\u00edkend, jdu “do akce”.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

M\u00e9 nedotknuteln\u00e9 z\u00e1sady:\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1, Respektuji \u010das p\u00e1te\u010dn\u00edho p\u0159\u00edjezdu. Obvykle se jej sna\u017e\u00edm dodr\u017eet tak, abych se s ostatn\u00edmi stejn\u00e9ho c\u00edle, potkal v dopravn\u00ed z\u00e1cp\u011b. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

2, V kolon\u011b m\u00ed\u0159\u00edc\u00ed z m\u011bsta hlasit\u011b nad\u00e1v\u00e1m na to, \u017ee \u010desk\u00e1 doprava stoj\u00ed za nic a je p\u0159\u00edli\u0161 p\u0159epln\u011bn\u00e1, v\u0161echno rozkopan\u00e9, zkaz\u00ed se mi sva\u010dina, ne\u017e na chalupu dojedu… (zkr\u00e1tka m\u00e1m p\u0159\u00edle\u017eitost si post\u011b\u017eovat na cokoliv).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3, Ignoruji dopravn\u00ed p\u0159edpisy, kde mohu, tam hbit\u011b m\u00edstn\u00edho “klobouk\u00e1\u0159e” p\u0159edjedu, klidn\u011b p\u0159es dvojitou plnou \u010d\u00e1ru. Beztak veze jen zk\u00e1ze nepodl\u00e9haj\u00edc\u00ed nesmysly. P\u0159edt\u00edm se ov\u0161em ka\u017ed\u00e9mu, kdo jede pomaleji, ne\u017e j\u00e1, lep\u00edm d\u016fsledn\u011b na kufr, abych ztratil posledn\u00ed \u0161petku mo\u017en\u00e9 brzdn\u00e9 dr\u00e1hy. na co, kdy\u017e okam\u017eit\u011b doty\u010dn\u00e9ho p\u0159edjedu rychl\u00fdm vybo\u010den\u00edm z nep\u0159ehledn\u00e9 \u0159ady do doposud voln\u00e9ho protism\u011bru, \u017ee.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4, Vynervovan\u00fd p\u0159ijedu na m\u00edsto pobytu, vynad\u00e1m hlasit\u011b (tak aby to m\u00edstn\u00ed sly\u0161eli)\u00a0d\u011btem i man\u017eelce, jedno za co. Jsem p\u0159ece p\u00e1nem domu i situace.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5, Aby nikdo po zbytek pozdn\u00edho odpoledne n\u00e1hodou nezah\u00e1lel, nedej Bo\u017ee seka\u010dka na tr\u00e1vu, vyt\u00e1hnu vpodve\u010der hlu\u010dn\u00fd stroj (ide\u00e1ln\u011b kombinaci hned n\u011bkolika motory vybaven\u00e9ho n\u00e1\u010din\u00ed, mus\u00ed b\u00fdt sly\u0161et m\u016fj odpov\u011bdn\u00fd p\u0159\u00edstup k v\u011bci).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

6, Za\u010dnu sekat tr\u00e1vn\u00edk, kter\u00fd od minul\u00e9 n\u00e1v\u0161t\u011bvy dorost z m\u00e9ho pohledu ne\u017e\u00e1douc\u00ed v\u00fd\u0161ky. P\u011bticentimetrov\u00fd zelen\u00fd porost je pot\u0159eba usm\u011brnit. Sek\u00e1m, do zemdlen\u00ed a do podn\u00edch ve\u010dern\u00edch hodin co je po t\u011bch, kte\u0159\u00ed se cht\u011bj\u00ed v klidu vyspat, ne? V\u0161akto jedenkr\u00e1te za t\u00fdden rozd\u00fdchaj\u00ed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

7, Zcela vy\u010derp\u00e1n za\u017eehnu potm\u011b gril, abych mohl kone\u010dn\u011b p\u0159ipravit ve\u010de\u0159i. Pou\u017eiji grilovac\u00ed uhl\u00ed, bohat\u011b jej zaleji tekut\u00fdm podpalova\u010dem. V\u0161ak to bude ho\u0159et.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

8, Zu\u0159\u00edm, uhl\u00ed nechytlo, d\u00fdm se val\u00ed k soused\u016fm. Nech\u00e1m gril kou\u0159it, v\u0161ak ono to samo zhasne, m\u00e1 p\u0159ij\u00edt bou\u0159ka, ve\u010de\u0159i dod\u011bl\u00e1m na p\u00e1nvi. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

9, Zcela vy\u010derp\u00e1n pad\u00e1m po dobr\u00e9m j\u00eddle do postele, nech\u00e1pu, pro\u010d p\u0159ij\u00ed\u017ed\u011bj\u00ed hasi\u010di. Doutn\u00e1 v\u0161e okolo grilu, kter\u00fd jsem opomn\u011bl \u0159\u00e1dn\u011b uhasit, no nic, ud\u011blali to jin\u00ed za mne pot\u00e9, co n\u011bjak\u00fd trouba podp\u00e1lil tr\u00e1vn\u00edk od grilu vedouc\u00ed k soused\u016fm p\u0159esn\u011b v m\u00edstech, kudy se roztekl podpalova\u010d.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

10, Hasi\u010di odj\u00ed\u017ed\u011bj\u00ed, no nic, asi mne \u010dek\u00e1 pokuta. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

11, Po n\u00e1ro\u010dn\u00e9 noci si p\u0159isp\u00edm t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 do ob\u011bda, chci p\u0159eci j\u00edt r\u00e1no do lesa na houby. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

12, Zd\u00e1 se mi podez\u0159el\u00e9, \u017ee se v\u0161ichni z lesa d\u00e1vno vrac\u00ed a \u0165ukaj\u00ed si na hlavu. J\u00e1 teprve k lesu ve dv\u011b odpoledne vyr\u00e1\u017e\u00edm. Je p\u0159ece kr\u00e1sn\u011b, no ne? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

13, Dareb\u00e1ci! V\u0161echen \u00falovek snad museli sb\u00edrat ji\u017e od rozedn\u011bn\u00ed. Nem\u00e1m ani houbu. V\u0161ak j\u00e1 to domorodc\u016fm oslad\u00edm! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

14, Dob\u00fdv\u00e1m se, marn\u00fdm pochodem po lese zcela vys\u00edlen, do m\u00edstn\u00edho kr\u00e1mku pro pe\u010divo. Nikdo neotv\u00edr\u00e1. Hlasit\u011b nad\u00e1v\u00e1m, tak aby se m\u00e9 rozho\u0159\u010den\u00ed obc\u00ed p\u011bkn\u011b neslo, na otev\u00edrac\u00ed dobu, kter\u00e1 je v sobotu jen do des\u00edti. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

15, Vzteky bez sebe z nezdaru m\u00e9 dal\u0161\u00ed mise, m\u00ed\u0159\u00edm k chalup\u011b, pl\u00e1nuji pomstu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

16, Zap\u00edn\u00e1m seka\u010dku, zji\u0161\u0165uji toti\u017e, \u017ee tr\u00e1vn\u00edk o t\u0159i milimetry p\u0159es de\u0161tivou noc povyrostl. Sek\u00e1m do pozdn\u00edch no\u010dn\u00edch hodin. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

17, D\u011btem zcela samoz\u0159ejm\u011b po celou dobu nebr\u00e1n\u00edm v rozvoji jejich hlasivek, ani v kreativn\u00ed tvorb\u011b. Co na tom, \u017ee soused m\u00e1 kliku obalenou \u010d\u00edmsi nevo\u0148av\u00fdm a dcera se synem sout\u011b\u017e\u00ed v discipl\u00edn\u011b zvan\u00e9 “Vyd\u00e1n\u00ed siln\u011bj\u0161\u00edho r\u00e1musu”. Pi\u0161t\u011bn\u00ed obou ratolest\u00ed ignoruji, jsem trp\u011bliv\u00fd otec, d\u00edt\u011b m\u00e1 rozv\u00edjet svoji osobnost a nezam\u011bniteln\u00fd tv\u016fr\u010d\u00ed potenci\u00e1l.\u00a0\u00a0Stejn\u011b tak ignoruji\u00a0i klep\u00e1n\u00ed rozzu\u0159en\u00e9ho souseda kr\u00e1tce p\u0159ed p\u016flnoc\u00ed.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

18, Gril znovu kou\u0159\u00ed, je kr\u00e1tce po druh\u00e9 hodin\u011b rann\u00ed. Jsem o n\u011bco chyt\u0159ej\u0161\u00ed, p\u0159ipravil jsem si konev vody na jeho n\u00e1sledn\u00e9 uha\u0161en\u00ed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

19, Ve t\u0159i r\u00e1no jdeme s man\u017eelkou sp\u00e1t a na odiv zbytku vesnice otev\u0159en\u00fdm oknem d\u00e1v\u00e1me na\u0161e harmonick\u00e9 milostn\u00e9 souzn\u011bn\u00ed. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

20. Kr\u00e1tce po poledni se probouz\u00edme, \u010dek\u00e1 n\u00e1s vy\u010derp\u00e1vaj\u00edc\u00ed cesta zp\u011bt do m\u011bsta. Bal\u00edme v\u011bci a chceme je nalo\u017eit do auta. Kliky vozu jsou v\u0161ak \u010d\u00edmsi nevonn\u00fdm zna\u010dn\u011b pomazan\u00e9…. Pl\u00e1nuji pomstu!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Z\u016fstanu t\u00fdden ve m\u011bst\u011b. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Satirick\u00fd pohled si neklade za c\u00edl nikoho, kdo se zde pozn\u00e1, zesm\u011b\u0161nit. Satira je zkr\u00e1tka prost\u0159edkem komunika\u010dn\u00edm, a jej\u00edm c\u00edlem je na obecn\u00e9m modelu upozorn\u011bn\u00ed na \u010desk\u00fd ne\u0161var, luf\u0165\u00e1ci versus m\u00edstn\u00ed.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/p>

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Jsem nad\u0161en\u00fdm chata\u0159em, \u010di chalup\u00e1\u0159em. Ka\u017ed\u00fd voln\u00fd v\u00edkend vyr\u00e1\u017e\u00edm, sotva v pr\u00e1ci skon\u010d\u00edm, pry\u010d…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":788,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"content-type":"","pmpro_default_level":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","_themeisle_gutenberg_block_has_review":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[50,48],"tags":[176,175,178,179,182,181,177,180],"class_list":["post-787","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-journal","category-lifestyle","tag-chalupareni","tag-chatareni","tag-chaty-a-chalupy-v-cesku","tag-hobby","tag-traveni-casu-o-vikendu","tag-vikendova-zabava","tag-volny-cas","tag-zahrada","pmpro-has-access"],"mb":[],"mfb_rest_fields":["title","gutenberg_elementor_mode"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/inregion.cz\/mystaging01\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/787","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/inregion.cz\/mystaging01\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/inregion.cz\/mystaging01\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inregion.cz\/mystaging01\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inregion.cz\/mystaging01\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=787"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/inregion.cz\/mystaging01\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/787\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":789,"href":"https:\/\/inregion.cz\/mystaging01\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/787\/revisions\/789"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inregion.cz\/mystaging01\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/788"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/inregion.cz\/mystaging01\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=787"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inregion.cz\/mystaging01\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=787"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/inregion.cz\/mystaging01\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=787"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}